How to Play a Wedding Gig: Advice from a San Diego Wedding Guitarist

As a classically trained guitarist, as well as an ensemble guy in other genres, I've had the opportunity to play hundreds of weddings in San Diego and Orange County through the years. Weddings can be a fun and lucrative type of gig, and in a climate like California's they can keep you busy all year long. Unlike bar gigs, coffee shops, or open mics, you can earn a bit more money at a wedding and get home at a reasonable hour afterward. But every gig has its own demands, quirks, and procedures, and weddings are no exception. If you're a musician thinking of getting into weddings, or you just booked your first wedding gig and want to know the basics, read on.

Punctuality: This Isn't a Bar Gig

Punctuality matters at every gig, of course, but at bar gigs, open mics, and showcases we're often not even allowed to set up until the previous band is off stage and the venue manager gives the okay. At a wedding, earlier is always better. I try to start playing about 15 to 30 minutes before the ceremony so there's music as guests arrive and I'm not shuffling gear around while they find their seats.

It's tempting to warm up as long as possible at home, but being early means you're not stressed out. You'll have time to scope out the venue, wash your hands after setting up, and settle in, and that makes for more relaxed, confident playing. Nobody plays well with dusty hands from setting up, sweaty and stressed from hustling in at the last minute.

I'm generally good at being punctual under pressure or for a job, but not so good in my everyday life. A few tricks I use to keep myself on time:

• Start the GPS app well before the gig. I often keep it in front of me while warming up at home so I have a realistic picture of my ETA.
• Preload the car with any gear that won't suffer in the heat of the trunk (mic stands, music stands, and so on).
• Set alarms for 15 minutes before my target departure time, and another a few minutes before it.

I've had a couple of close calls with San Diego traffic, but I've never been late to start playing at a wedding.

Sort Out the Logistics Before Wedding Day

Items to sort out ahead of time include:

• Parking situation. Where do you park, and how far is it from where you play?
• Equipment needed. A small amplifier might cover an intimate ceremony, while 100 guests may call for a larger PA system.
• Where to load and unload your equipment.
• Agreed start and end times. Keep in mind that if you play the ceremony, you may be expected to start 30 minutes prior as people trickle in.
• Food and beverage for performers. Will they feed you if you're on site for long hours, or will you need to bring something?
• Delivery of payment. I prefer to be paid in full before a wedding rather than chasing the father of the bride down at the reception. If you are getting paid on the wedding day, be sure to figure out who the point person is.

It's also important to have the phone numbers of two on-site contacts you can call with questions the day of the wedding. The bride or groom who hired you is not picking up the phone two hours before their own wedding, nor should they need to. A lot of this can be handled in your contract, which we'll cover in another post.

Load In and Load Out

Find out the load-in policy. Some venues, especially resort hotels, have a formal procedure that may include driving around back or into a loading dock to offload gear. It can seem superfluous for a solo artist with one small amp, and I'll admit I sometimes subvert the procedure in a polite and discreet way, but most of the time it's best to just follow it and stay in the venue's good graces. I always have a Rock N Roller cart (affiliate link) in the car in case I need to roll my gear across a huge lawn to a gazebo, or down to a beach that's a long haul from the parking lot.

Always, always, always factor in time for parking. It can be tricky at churches and courthouses with limited lots, and sprawling resort hotels can mean a long walk from the car. Running across a huge lawn to a sandy beach in a suit, in 90 degree heat, carrying a guitar amp because you got lost on the property is no fun. Ask me how I know. 😢

Work With the Wedding Coordinator

I typically contract with the bride or groom initially and do a quick consult with them before the wedding. It's something I normally include for free at my location or by Zoom, though I may apply a small fee if I have to drive somewhere to give a consultation. To be honest, the couple usually hires a coordinator, and there may be other people helping plan the detailed logistics. Wedding coordinators, relatives, clergy, and venue staff all play a role in the more granular details. In the initial consult with the couple, I'm just trying to get a general sense of the layout, musical requests, parking and load-in details, and any preferences that will help me provide a nice experience.

The real logistics usually come from the wedding coordinator, and you want their contact number in your phone in case anything pops up the day of the wedding. As mentioned above, it's also good to have a second contact, like a venue person or groundskeeper, just in case. Coordinators can recommend you to couples in the future, so it's a good idea to provide any information they request, acknowledge all their communications, and generally convey professionalism and organization. They often send me a timeline that details where I'll set up and when, along with when to start playing. If it seems off, I'll contact them to review it. A solo guitar setup only takes me about 30 minutes, so if the timeline has me arriving six hours prior, I will ask questions!

Ceremony Music: Processional and Recessional Awareness

A few observations about ceremony music I've made over the years:

1. It's shorter than you think. The bride may pick out a three minute classical piece or pop song for the walk down the aisle, but the actual walk, with some wedding day adrenaline, runs about 15 seconds. I'll often learn a shorter chunk of a song so I don't have to stress about learning a bunch of material the week before a wedding, since I'm likely not using the whole song anyway.

2. You can't stare at sheet music. You need to be able to see people coming or going down the aisle, and reading sheet music is not conducive to that. If you must read, make sure you're glancing, not staring, so you can read the room and know when to wrap up. Position your written music or iPad in a way that lets you see the aisle peripherally.

3. Know your cues. When the officiant says something like "ladies and gentlemen, it's my honor to present Mr. and Mrs. Smith," that's normally my cue to start the recessional. The recessional can be a more complete song, since everyone seated will be filing out over the next few minutes. Know your cues, or have the coordinator wave at you. I'll often have the coordinator or a family member give me a warning wave when the bride is about to walk down the aisle. At the reception, you may need a heads up for the first dance, cake cutting, or speeches.

Handling Requests

I like to get any special requests as far ahead of a wedding as possible and start working them into my normal practice rotation. Ceremony requests can take quite a bit of rehearsal to get solid, and you don't want to wing it at a ceremony. At a cocktail hour or reception you'll sometimes get random requests from guests, and it's good to try to accommodate these while also following the aesthetic of the bride and groom. If I was asked to play a chill mix of bossa nova and acoustic jazz, I'm going to politely decline a request to play "Wagon Wheel," even though I may know it. If it's an out-of-genre request I can re-stylize in my genre, I will!

If you're a reception band, you're essentially a live jukebox for dancing and should know lots of popular standards, but you still want to honor the couple's overall vibe and politely decline any wildly out-of-genre requests. Couples often have a few songs they'll tell you are absolutely off limits. Honor that list.

Build Your Set List Ahead of Time

It's a great idea to have a set list, even if you're just playing the ceremony and cocktail hour. It will keep you on track while giving you the freedom to go off script only as needed. I personally like to keep all my sheet music, charts, notes, and set list in one unit on an iPad. It looks smaller and slicker than a clunky music stand full of paper, and to me, it's more professional.

I built a great tool for this, mainly for myself, but as it turns out a lot of my musician friends now use it professionally and enjoy it. You can get it free at Guitar Scribble. It's a central hub to organize all your stuff on the iPad, have it saved in the cloud, and pull it up at the gig. I personally hotspot to my phone to use it, but it can also be used offline or over WiFi.

Bonus: Keep the Rest of Your Musical Life Alive

Weddings are lucrative and fun, but as artists we need a mix of what I would call performances, jam sessions, gigs, and shows. I will be the first to say you probably don't want to play 60 weddings a year. At a wedding, your main function is often background music. Elegant, intentional background music, but background music all the same. Be sure to also play gigs that challenge you more, build community with other musicians, scratch your artistic and creative itches, and stretch you to do new things. There's real craft in doing weddings well, and the musicians who keep doing them well are the ones who keep the rest of their musical life alive too.

Final Thoughts

Play enough weddings and you'll collect your own list of close calls, sweaty lawn sprints, and perfectly timed recessionals. The fundamentals don't change: show up early, sort the logistics before the day, treat the coordinator like gold, and know your cues. Do those things consistently and you'll become the musician that venues and planners remember for the right reasons, which is where the next booking comes from.

And if you're a couple who found this while researching music for your big day, now you know what a professional is doing behind the scenes to make your ceremony sound effortless. You might also enjoy my guide on how to choose a wedding guitarist in San Diego, or come hear me play in person at one of my upcoming live gigs around San Diego.